Aug 31, 2012

Feminine Friday: Helpful And Attentive

Proverbs 31:12 (KJV)

This week we are continuing our discussion on what it means to be a Proverbs 31 wife. Today we are discussing the second virtue that I've pulled from Proverbs 31. My observation is that a wife aspiring to be like the Proverbs 31 woman is "helpful and attentive to her husband's needs" by "doing him good and not evil all the days of her life." Let's see what that means.

Taking from the Strong's concordance, I will rephrase this to encourage our understanding.

Her dealings (or relationship) with him are bountifully pleasant and agreeable
not disagreeable, unpleasant, or evil for all of her lifetime.

That is powerful. It is fairly easy to control one's emotions and reactions and words when talking to strangers or even friends. Have you ever noticed how it becomes increasingly difficult to always conduct yourself pleasantly and agreeably in all circumstances with family members and even your Beloved? Somehow it becomes all too easy to let your guard down and allow unpleasant remarks or disagreeable attitudes to invade the marital relationship. That struggle isn't what defines a woman as "virtuous."

A "helpful and attentive" wife is seeking to "do him good and not evil" by placing effort or priority to doing those things that benefit our husbands and paying attention to know what those needs are. The wife aspiring to do this will have the "pleasant and agreeable" attitude that helping her husband is a good thing and not a drudgery.

Here are some ways we can train ourselves to seek to "do him good and not evil" even on a stressful day:
  1. Pray for God to help you through difficult moments. Pray God will give you the desire to "do him good."
  2. Daily Bible study. You don't have to constantly be studying Proverbs 31 for this time with God's Word to be beneficial. Time spent with God is likened to daily sustenance because it feeds our soul with His purpose for our lives.
  3. Contemplate nice things to say and do so you can be more purposeful in "doing him good."
  4. Don't allow frustrations or bitterness to take root in your heart. Have respectful conversations about issues that do arise so that you can continue to "do him good" with an open heart.
I have been married for seven years now. And, I am most certainly human and subject to fleshly temptation. What I mean by that is not that I am tempted by flesh ☺ but that I still have sinful tendencies. One of those is that I all too often do not seek to "do him good" by remaining "pleasant and agreeable" but instead I tend to "protect" myself from perceived wrongs. I can be quick to defend myself or argue for my own rationing or ideas rather than actively act in an agreeable and pleasant way. I honestly do not think that by "doing him good and not evil" that I am not allowed to ever share an opinion or advice or thought. I do think that it is addressing the heart of the matter which is the manner in which those opinions or that advice is shared. And, as the leader or head, my husband may disagree and I am provided with an opportunity to "do him good" by reacting or "dealing" with him in a "pleasant and agreeable" way.

Placing value on your relationship with your husband and desiring to "do him good" is a great first step. The above suggestions are meant to help you throughout the day at cultivating this virtue in your life.

Check out these posts in this Proverbs 31 series: Feminine Behaviors and She Is Trustworthy.

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