Apr 18, 2012

Something Worth Investing In

Have I maybe mentioned before that our life can get hectic? Oh yeah, I have. No doubt your life is hectic too. You know what is the number one thing that causes us to lose our tempers and get cranky when things start getting crazy have been crazy all day? Okay, its actually number 2 behind time spent with God which is, of course, very important and helpful in those darkest moments in your day. But, the other important thing is to remember that our marriages are the number one most important earthly relationship we can have and they need to be nurtured.

Hold up! You mean forget about the kids and don't take care of them and their constant needs? Don't little kids need me more than my husband?

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm simply saying that the foundation of your home should be in Christ. Then a strong structure is formed as you build up your marriage, combining both to offer a sturdy home to your offspring. So you can care for your children during the day and go to work and enjoy family devotions and mealtimes, but with each early morning prayer together as a couple or date night or sitting together reading a book, you prioritize and invest in your marriage which strengthens the structure of your family. If you constantly forgo time with your spouse prioritizing other things, especially for those who consider their children to be more important than their marriage, your foundation gets wobbly. That negatively affects your children.

There are other ways to prioritize your marriage over your parenting duties. You can work together to present a united front concerning rules and consequences in your home (its not "good cop vs. bad cop" its more of a "sheriff and his deputy" ☺). You can purpose to speak kindly and uplifting about your spouse in front of your children. You can show affection toward each other in front of your children. You can teach your children not to interrupt when you and your spouse are having a conversation so as to prioritize your communication within your marriage therefore building your marriage. You see? It actually benefits your kids.

While there are some easy and quick tips to prioritizing your marriage such as I have just presented to you, there is an element wholly unique to your relationship that must be worked out with your spouse and family. While some couples feel the need to leave their home environment to place all their attention on building their relationship without home distractions, other couples may feel a candle lit dinner after the children are in bed or a late night movie just as bonding and productive. While some couples may prefer their children not participate in activities that take them away from home in the evenings so that the parents have their evening time at home on a regular basis, other couples may only need one night a week to invest in their marriage and still feel strong and united together. You see? Whether you have money to spare for a date or only one night a week to sit at home and play a game and really talk to each other, the important part is making it a priority to build up your marriage in a way that works for you both. You need to see your marriage for what it truly is, an example to the world of Christ's love for his church and the church's devotion and respect for their Leader, their Savior. God designed marriage to reflect that Holy relationship between Christ and the church. Sadly far too many marriages don't reflect Christ and far too many Christian marriages end in divorce.

The truth is, Casey and I work so much (mostly Casey gone at work and me at home with our children) that we haven't made a date night a priority in our marriage. The sad part is that we both know that it is a vital part of our marriage to be purposefully investing in. However, we haven't really had the money or the time or even a babysitter so it just hasn't been happening. We can attempt to have home dates but in our family, Casey goes to bed rather early due to needing to be at his job at 6am most days and our home life becomes distracting. We have decided as a couple that going out even for a walk or to sit at Starbucks is far more useful because we can be much more relaxed and purposeful in focusing our attention on each other and our marriage. So we have decided to start putting a date night into our budget so we can build our marriage to withstand the daily frustrations of life.

Will you join me today in investing in our marriages to offer the world the light of Christ, our children a steady and strong structure for their families, and our marriages the love and attention they deserve instead of being just a title or a certificate on the wall? And, if you live in the Kansas City area of MO, give me a shout out if you know of any awesome babysitters!


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  1. Phil was convicted of this a few months ago and hired a college girl from church to come in every thursday night. Of course once in a while she has to miss, and yesterday was one of those times. Since Phil spent extra time at school grading 500 papers in four days, I haven't seen much of him. And he's a bit of a Rockies (baseball) fanatic, so if he's been here his attention has been elsewhere. So yesterday I took it upon myself to make a little cafe bistro setting for us. I moved a table and chairs to the guest room and got it all spiffied up. We had a cookie dough bar over candlelight to start our reconnecting date night. It was great, and since we don't actually have guests very often, it was agreed upon to leave it set up to revisit again next week when the sitter can't come. Thankfully it is a room that will be easy to keep clean so all I will have to do is whip up some munchies :)

    1. That is a creative idea Alicia! For us, lately we've been playing matches of Battleship for our weeks where we have datenight at home. Casey isn't much of a game player but he likes Battleship and I enjoy pretty much any game so we've been having fun with it. Wouldn't you know but he has won every single game so far!


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